You Can't Weigh Beauty: Redefining Body Image

Happiness Is Not a Body Shape 

I received a great response to my "How to be Confident" blog post last week.  So, this week I decided to talk about something that I myself have always struggled with and that is body image issues.

If you've been following my blog or follow me on social media, you may know that I compete in beauty pageants.  You may be thinking to yourself, "There is no way SHE has body image issues!"  But, what you may not know is that this is something I struggled with for many years.  I am not going to go into any great detail about what I went through because this blog isn't about me... This blog is about learning to stop hating our bodies!  The hate-fest on our bodies needs to stop because all we are really doing when we project that negativity onto ourselves is digging ourselves deep into a dark and gloomy rabbit hole.  My hope is that by the end of this blog, you will no longer feel enslaved by someone else's opinion of how you "should" look.

Whether we realize it or not, we all have some sort of expectation of how our body "should" look.  The media and society tell us ALL the time that in order to be happy, liked, and loved; we need to look certain way.  My challenge to you this month is: instead of focusing on changing your body, focus on celebrating it!

5 Practices to Redefine Your Body Image 

Gratitude. 
Make a list of the things your body enables you do.  I can walk, run, jump, bike, swim, etc.  There are a lot of people who aren't able to do many of the simple things we regularly take for granted.  Reflect on this list when you are frustrated with your body.  Maybe you didn't reach your goal weight this month? or maybe you gained a few pounds.  When you have moments like these, remember your body is pretty dang awesome and be thankful for the amazing things you are able to do! 

Ditch Social Media.
Oh, social media!  One of my favorite quotes is, "Don't compare your behind the scenes with other people's highlight reel."  Do NOT beat yourself up and compare yourself with others... especially based on their social media posts.  Many people only post the positive and not the negative in life. There are a few times each year when I take a break from all social media.  It influences us so much more than we know and I think it's important to step away from it every now and then.

Mirror Talk. 
A lot of us look in the mirror and often think thoughts such as:
I'm fat 
I hate my stomach 
I wish my thighs were smaller 
If I could lose this much weight, I would be happy 
I hate my arms 
These pants make me look fat 
My skin is ugly  
This needs to stop! For the month of March, I encourage you to start looking in the mirror and telling yourself, "I am beautiful inside and out."  Sweet talk yourself up... talk to yourself the way you want to be talked to by others! Tell yourself how beautiful you are!

Ditch the enablers 
We are bombarded daily with pictures of photoshopped bodies that are simply unrealistic.  The media plays a huge role in bringing down our self-esteem but they are not the only ones responsible! Our family and friends play a role as well.  Make sure you are surrounding yourself with people who are supporting, uplifting, and motivating you!

True Beauty 
Remember that true beauty is not skin deep.  Sparkling From The Inside Out was titled this way because I truly believe that we must work on the inside in order to shine on the outside.  Beauty has nothing to do with your body, it has everything to do with your mind!

Keep in mind that the key to happiness isn't having a perfect body, the secret is learning to love your body and creating a positive self image.  A healthy body serves little purpose without a healthy mind to accompany it.

XoXo 
Ashley 

Game Planning

Author Karen Lamb said it best when she said, “A year from now you may wish you had started today.” 

And last year that’s exactly where I was.  After a year of not paying attention to what went into my mouth, I finally came to the harsh realization that summer was creeping in and needless to say I was far from feeling comfortable struttin’ my stuff around the pool.  I was frustrated, embarrassed, and fed up with myself.  I absolutely had to make a change, although making a permanent lifestyle change is never easy especially when it comes to food.  Whether you are trying to lose weight or just trying to start living a healthier lifestyle you have to “Sacrifice what you are, for what you will be become” –Eric Thomas.  I think THE most important thing a person can do when starting this journey is to remember that it is a JOURNEY.  It’s a process and it’s far from easy, but it’s completely possible to achieve those dreams and goals.  There will be good days and there will be bad days, there will be easy days and there will be hard days, but a year from right now will you be so happy that you started today.

The Mental Part 

For me personally there has always been an emotional attachment to food that I never realized I had before I started to cut certain things out of my diet.  For example, I like going out to eat on the weekends, I enjoy curling up on the couch with some popcorn while watching a movie, and when I find a sweet recipe on Pinterest that I can make for others, I feel like I hit the jackpot.  When I started to cut those things out of my life, I almost started to feel empty! How weird is that?!  On Friday night (a night that I would typically go out to eat with my parents) staying in felt foreign.  This to me was the hardest part about continuing to live a healthy life-style…. The mental part.  I’ve heard many people say before that diet is 80% of losing weight and the gym is the other 20%.  Well, my own personal opinion is that diet is 98% and the gym is 2%.  I constantly have to remind myself of a quote by Bill Cosby “Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it” because that’s what it really comes down to…We are afraid of missing out, or not afraid of not tasting something.  We MUST cut ties with what our “norm” was and accept the new!

Getting Discouraged

We all get discouraged at times.  It’s just a part of the journey.  Getting discourage can hit us out of nowhere and sweep us right off of our feet!  These are the times we have to remember why we started in the first place.  If you fall off track with your diet… it’s not the end of the world. It’s so important to take BABY STEPS.  If you eat healthy for one day, you are not going to see results immediately (very unfortunate, I know) it’s a process that takes time.  And likewise, if you have been eating very healthy… one “bad meal” will not cause you to gain 10lbs.  If you end up cheating at lunch that doesn’t mean you have to cheat for dinner as well.  Someone once said to me, “If you dropped your phone on the floor, would you keep smashing it until it was completely broken?”  Of course my answer was no, and their reply was, “Well then why would you do that with your diet?”  It’s something that we all do at times… We have a slice of pizza that we weren’t intending to have and we think “well I already cheated… now where’s the dessert?!”  There will be days when you give in but that doesn’t mean you should give up.  Keep going, keep striving, keep dreaming, and keep reaching to achieve those goals!

Making a Game Plan

I am a firm believer in game planning.  It’s so important to sit down and actually take the time to write out your goals.  “A goal without a plan is just a wish” There is something about writing your goals down on paper that makes them so much more realistic.  I highly encourage you to do this! Once you have your goals written out, hang them somewhere so that you can look at them everyday! I have mine on my bathroom mirror and I read them every morning while I brush my teeth.  I also like to set mini goals.  If my ultimate goal is to drop 10lbs by a certain month I will divide the pounds by the amount of weeks I have and then I will set mini dead lines.  For example:

(Let’s say you weigh 135)

You want to weight 120
by May 1^st, 2014…Which means you have to lose 15lbs in 3 months.  That is about 1.25lbs a week. 

 I like to make mini deadlines so every two weeks I would set a different goal.  This
helps keep you on track and holds you accountable. 

I also like to sit down on Sundays and write out my meal plan.  I mean like, to the T! Every meal and every snack down to the portions! If you do this, there will never be any question on what you are going to eat, leaving minimal room for error! We fall off of our diets when we’re confused and unprepared.

Create A Dream Board

I know this may sound like a silly and tedious task but I am telling you it’s so worth it! (and I think it’s fun :) )  Make a copy of your goals and paste them into the middle of a blank poster board.  Once you have done that go thru magazines and cut out anything that inspires you! It could be a quote, a food item, or maybe someone’s physique.  I also like to print out pictures of people who are close to me that inspire me.  Giving your dream an actual vision is a powerful thing! Hang your poster in a place where you can look at it everyday and constantly be reminded of why your making
these changes!

What You'll Need 

I'm not finished yet but here is what my dream board is starting to look like. 

 I hope you all have a wonderful, wonderful week! 

xoxo

-Ashley

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